I hate it when I can’t solve something. (Don’t tell my mom I used the word hate)
When a problem is presented to me & there’s no clear solution that I can think up or carry out.
When I hear the news & the best I have to offer is “I’ll pray for you”.
But let me talk about my friend for a moment.
Jasmine is a teenage girl who is gorgeous, quick to help, learning English, engaged, and the daughter of a mother who is constantly sick & raising her children alone after moving away from her husband, a vodou priest who did not want to convert to Christianity. I met her last January & we’ve grown closer over time, using the internet when she randomly has access to it to communicate in little snippets. Love this girl, praying for her, and I think that she’s been connected the church partnered with CPR-3 for a purpose – because God is intentional. She is unique in that she never asks for help when she lists off all of her problems, but that doesn’t stop the fact that I want to solve her lack of food, closet-sized home full of young adults, sick mother, troubles paying for school, and lack of opportunity based solely on the socio-economic status she was born into. The other day she posted a paragraph about God’s surprises and how good He is, the blessings He has for us and His awesomeness, basically. I responded with a “Yes! God is good!”, basically just a big ‘AMEN!’ as we celebrate that God is good and she’s seeing it in her life.
She responds with “Yes! And thank you so much for praying for us.”
Cue the emotional music in my head when I read this. I loved her post, seeing her excited heart and His blessings for her dear family….but then for her thanks for prayer? Implying that I could have anything to do with His goodness?
Do you guys drop your jaw at that like I do? How in the world do I get to play a part in His plan like that? How in the world do I deserve to be thanked for my prayers, when GOD is the one fulfilling them anyway?
God’s been showing off the faithfulness of His character this month (He’s always showing it off, but it’s sticking out to me this month), over and over again causing me to stop in amazement that He offers the ridiculous chance to go before Him and ASK FOR STUFF. Here He is, CREATOR OF THE UNIVERSE WITH ANGELS SINGING HIS PRAISE 24/7, and He not only allows me to approach Him, but then start talking. And then, instead of shaking His head at my small-perspective, foolish words, HE ANSWERS ME. Oh, and in His details & love for me & his habit of going above-and-beyond-and-then-some, he then LET’S ME KNOW I’ve been heard and answered. Guys, this is jaw dropping stuff.
Your prayers are making a difference. MY prayers are making a difference.
Across the map, unseen, places that I will never know about. In ways that I’ll never hear about. In people I’ll never see.
But also in the people I get to hear about.
Westhalineda was found in time to be taken to a consult set up for her through The Red Thread Promise with a visiting doctor from America. Totally God taking care of her. I apologized profusely in a message to the people networking to get Wes help when I had heard no word for weeks. Those same people were extremely understanding. The Red Thread Promise, through those contacts, posts pictures of Wes – not linking me, just a prayer request for Wes to be found. Amanda gets linked to this post from a mutual friend and says “Now that I’m in Haiti I’ve seen Wes! She’s with a family member down the street & I happened to see her because she needed medicine!” – Then Amanda & Jordan are able to set up the details to take Wes and this family member to Port-au-Prince, sacrificially giving time, gas, and pouring into Wes and TiKris – the family member taking care of her. Wes was checked out by the doctor after months of searching for answers for her legs/feet & weeks of thinking she’d miss out on this opportunity.
God is faithful. It’s what He does. I didn’t ask for Wes in my life, I didn’t have the connections needed to get her help when her mom pointed out her legs with worry. I was lost & hating the feeling of not being able to do anything. What good am I in this country if I can’t offer any solution to a problem placed in front of me? I prayed. I’ve prayed for her life since I met her, I’ve prayed for her mom. I prayed when she fell in water & most statistics, as well as the doctors with her, questioned her survival and I prayed when her mother told me she noticed her legs were “not right”. I prayed when I left Haiti and I prayed when I found out her mom and her were MIA. Others prayed too and haven’t stopped praying. We’ve prayed for TiKris, her health and heart since the last news I heard about her. And God loves them both more than we can imagine, and he hears us when we go before Him with His will in mind.
So what now with Wes?
She needs multiple surgeries on each leg/foot, the sooner the better. We are coordinating efforts to get her story out and fundraise, because that is the only next step that CAN happen. She needs multiple surgeries (including multiple times with travel & pre & post op care as well as every other detail that goes into surgery on a girl not even able to talk yet) and has an MIA mom right now, with a teenage half-aunt watching her for now. She is in need. She is beautiful. She has a purpose. She is loved.
I’m intimidated at the thought of cost and asking for money for yet another thing soon, but then again, I’m not. I’m so scared that things will fall through for her medical needs, but that’s foolish if I look at how far she’s already been carried. I hate having another problem to read about, another thing that needs solved. But then I re-read the story, and I don’t hate it.
Because this isn’t my thing. It’s His, that He’s brought me in on. And he is faithful.
Here’s the thing about God: His character traits are 100%, no take-backs.
That’s not easy for us to comprehend, because we’re human. I can’t imagine coming through on everything, because I don’t, even when I have the best intentions. I can’t imagine working everything in my power for the best of someone else, at all times, because I don’t. But He is faithful. He is good. He makes promises, and He keeps them. We seek Him, and He is delighted to be found. There’s no “other side” to it or shortcoming in how faithful He is.
And friends, I’ve shared just two of literally hundreds of stories of what He’s done JUST. THIS. MONTH. that I could list off for you, answers from prayers both years and minutes ago.
I hate not being able to solve something in front of me.
But shame on me for thinking “I’ll pray for you” isn’t doing enough.