Especially in these past few months, people ask me a lot of questions that run along the same themes:
“But what about….(being single, using my degree, what every other 24-year-old is doing, safety)?”
“Aren’t you….(scared, overwhelmed, lonely, negative something I could be feeling)?”
“Do you miss….(insert anything here, especially good food & my awesome family)?”
“Woah, that’s a long time”
Yes, it is a long time. (laugh here, you’re allowed and I want you to, I laughed as I typed that) But if I could wrap up my heart’s response to these questions and more, it’d be exactly what I read today – But Your love is better than life.
I’m never quite able to express in the moment out loud when questions are directed at me – but this is it. This is my answer to all of it. This Psalm actually starts out ‘in a dry and weary land, where there is no water…’. If you’ve ever been to Haiti, that’s one of the first things you see. If you haven’t, use Google Earth & take 3 seconds to look at Haiti beside the Dominican Republic on their tiny chunk of land.
At the end of the day when my feet are covered in dust and dirt no matter how much or little I’ve walked, no matter how many times I’ve cleaned them. As I sit with families living – cooking, cleaning, bathing, doing dishes, laundry, and drinking – from the one 5 gallon bucket. When I am exhausted and I can’t fathom how a single mother feels as she is trying to feed, clothe, bathe, keep school clothes pristine if education can be afforded, and raise six children while trying to create a way to get an income and just basically survive. The country I now call home is a dry and weary land. There is not enough water. We’re all exhausted.
But because His love is better than life –
I will go to the dry and weary land and my lips will glorify you.
David, who wrote this Psalm as he was fleeing in the desert from people who had it OUT for him, could have longed for a ton of things. Water. Bread. Comfort. Rest. Friends, community, or loving family to be surrounded by. He was human, so revenge or justice. But his soul and his body thirst and long for God.
And as Psalm 63 also says, my soul will be satisfied. He is my help and I can sing in the shadow of His wings, which cover me. His right hand upholds me as I cling to Him.
And whatever you’ve heard word-vomit from my mouth as I try to explain what can’t be limited to a one word answer, this is my “Why, How, and What”. This is my “Yes, that’s a long time”. Because His love is better than life.