It seems that the human condition is to toe the line.
How much of me can I hold on to while keeping my “get out of jail” card with God?
(“Get out of jail” theology is already a mess in and of itself – but that isn’t what we are talking about today)
And as much as I am shaken to see that I have this condition for myself over and over again…I was slapped to realize I am also TIP TOEING around others, in style comparable to a ballerina on opening night of “The Nutcracker” after years of training for it, to avoid any toes that may be stepped on if I urge discomfort as opposed to what margin easily allows. If I make it an option to choose an amount of money that would force change in life habits elsewhere…I could scare you off completely!
“That would be stretching for us” is exactly what my aim is to avoid when asking someone who, in faith, reaches out in response to my new needs to stay on the ground long term. I need monthly partners and when I respond or put out the ask, I am hitting backspace on my ideal ask because I don’t want to “invade their budget”.
So my ask, which is not for myself – it is God’s money, is scaled back to be “non-invasive”, “convenient”, “something you will not miss”.
While that fairy tale type faith (one where we magically both are perfect, soaked in the Spirit disciples while also changing nothing in our life) is one that much of the Western church is attempting to fool itself into, what in the absolute world kind of faith is one that’s impact is not felt?
God does not need to show up to what is convenient.
It is not life-changing if it is not invading your life.
If I am simply collecting change that will not be missed – I am saying that a great way to compare God is by looking at your couch – specifically underneath it, where you only clean once a spring. Forgotten and irrelevant to your daily habits.
Why, oh why, has it become okay to continue to turn off our minds to our natural habits and not let him invade our lives? To not examine every piece of what we are doing with our time and other resources we have been given, and hold them up to say – “what would YOU have me do?”. What on earth – I am so entrenched in this that I am bringing others along for the ride and making sure that I don’t step on toes!
Because we all know THAT is what Jesus made sure to do in his young adult life. “Offend as few as possible, heal them so that they can continue life as normal”.
So I am writing to say that I am sorry for the injustice of not inviting you into a much bigger and more realistic (and more fully alive!) faith. I am sorry for not honoring Him, both with the faith that He will show up as well as the fear of man that has me double checking every word.
I also want to say thank you so much to the people who are already living out this faith with me, some for years! You are the real deal. I am reminded of how thankful I am for you every time I’m composing an invite to a potential new “family member” to the team that is walking with me.
Here’s to stepping on some toes – including my own – if it means honoring Him.